i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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