it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
