I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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