I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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