I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
