so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
