...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
