You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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