I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
