I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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