No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
soo... how was my night?
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