Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
