he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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