I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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