tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
