used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
