The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
