i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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