they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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