I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
