Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
