So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
They took my balls.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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