I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
