It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
