If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
