It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
