She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
