one two three fourrrrnication!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
