Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
