Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
