its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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