pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
