Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
