You're completely useless in the revolution.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
