I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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