All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
