Just cropdusted the office
Do vagina's smell?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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