My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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