Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
my penis made a compromise with my morals
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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