Taylor Swift is so right about you.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
