Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
