soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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