I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
