She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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