It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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