So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
