You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She's JV to your varsity
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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