i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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