yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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