I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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