if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
