Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
