She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
